update: i tried pushing my bf off during and he didnt stop

og post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/w4MkPpEicM

i had a 2 hour talk with my step mom and decided its best to end it with him. i also explained over text how i feel and why im breaking up with him, he understands.

for those of you worried about living situation, i live with my parents not with him or by myself. ive offered to give him his stuff back if i find any by wednesday since i work that day. we live about 45 mins to an hour apart and i work in the town he lives in. he said he its best if he doesnt see me(even though i planned to just drop it off on his porch and leave), so i guess thats that. he also is not someone that watches porn(that i know of), ive known he was into some rougher things, i just think the lack of communicating was really scary. theres been times where he pulls my hair during sex and it does kind of hurt especially because he grabs at the scalp not the ends of my hair. today when it happened he grabbed a handful and clenched so hard i thought hair was going to break off, my scalp was pulsing and red after.

i feel terrible in the way that im making him feel guilty because it wasnt always bad times. i also dont think hes the type of person to intentionally ignore my signals but either way it happened and it sucks that thats the way it ended. i still love him, its just unfair to keep the relationship for us both in my opinion, because i know that even if we talked it out id still be a little scared every time. i feel absolutely awful about hurting him, it still feels like that wasnt real.

thank you for the people leaving constructive comments on the last post