I'm Destined to be Alone.

I'm Destined to be Alone.

Meri Zindagi akele rehne main nikal jaane wali hain..., i have dated 4 woman after 18 (I'm 27) no one stayed, everyone left and not on good terms, ek gayi i thought usme kami thi, dusri gayi i thought usme kami thi, tessri gayi i thought usme kami thi, 4 tak muje laga shayad mujhme he kami rahi hogi ( as once salman quoted in an interview) same story for me too...i always craved for true love I still do, at this age of my life I'm soo emotionally tired and exhausted, meri mom dad ki health achi nahi rehti, mahine k 50 kamne k baad bhi most of the paisa gold loan jo didi ki shaadi k liye liya tha usme aur hospital k bills main chala jaata hain...

I cry everyday alone, i fell in love with a girl when I was 19 she was my first kiss, us time usne muje bola she can't be with me because she was waiting for someone else...uske baad she changed 3-4 boyfriends not to belittle her in anyway I still love her and respect her and unfortunately I still know her, my second love was in college masters k dauran, unfortunately that too ended on a sour note, 3rd one was too busy ghosting me and choose someone else over me, 4th one commited sui*ide last Tuesday because she was going through shit and we fell apart way before this happened, but the last thing I said to her was ( ye kya sad bakchodi bhejrahi hain) which I am gonna regret my whole life)

I'm too emotionally week right, alone, unhappy with my life, I spend most of my alone time crying, my mom and dad got admitted in hospital thrice in this two months, I need help, I'm still crying writing this, yes I need validation, yes I need love, sabko pyaar milta hai muje bhi chahiye, mere naseeb main kyu nahi hain...

I have hurted my backbone by an accident, I'm still recovering and I don't know when I can be physically fit now... yesterday I met my first love, she told me she is dating someone new, that broke something in me, i cried whole night, meri maa bimar hai muje pata nahi main kaha jaau ye dard leke, don't worry main sui*ide nahi karuga, I love my parents too much to leave them alone in pain.

Please MODS I have created this alt account just to post this please don't delete this, even if you do, please atleast you talk to me I need someone to talk to please.