Broke my sobriety

I had been sober since February 15th 2022. Tonight at a friends wedding, I went to the bathroom and passed a table with open bottles of wine. All alone. I couldnt stop thinking about it and before I knew it I came out of the bathroom and drank a glass. I went back out feeling nice then went back to the bathroom and had a second glass. I immediately begin planing how I would be able to start drinking again and hide it.

An hour after we got home I told my fiancé. He is notably worried but he made sure to say he isn’t angry or disappointed but it does bother him. He hasn’t drank in almost a year now but doesn’t consider himself sober because he is comfortable with the thought of having a social drink at the right time. We have a safety plan in place to keep my doing right.

I feel confident I can avoid doing it again. But it’s a strange and uncomfortable place to be. I haven’t reset my timer yet but I know I should soon. Part of me feels like one day I could have a social drink but trying to hide it tonight was the problem. This is a weird place to be.