codependency + bpd: how to move on from the loml

I'm the codependent, she's the pwbpd and WOW--what a match, huh? I'm being sarcastic because I've been in a state of constant lovesickness and anxiety for like 6 months now, ever since I discovered her infidelity.

this sub seems pretty dubious of the word "love," but I'm stubborn and somehow remain convinced that this is the love of my life (or perhaps my adult life--I was in reckless love once as 20 year old now I'm 34). you readers can assume I've gone through all the bs that comes with trying in a relationship like this: the rage, the monkey branching, the hoovering, many discards, the glorious basking during idealization, and so forth.

i've known i need to go no contact for awhile now, but I still can't do it. it's been 6 months of these cycles. my question is particularly for those who struggle with codependency: how did you finally do it? was it no contact? meeting someone else (I know this is classic codependent)? CoDa? I'm sober, I'm in therapy, I have a life, but there's the less and less of it (and frankly me) left the longer I include this person in my life.

as a terminal romantic (aka codependent), I appreciate your roasts but also your grace and patience with my plight--it has been the hardest 6 months of a life not without emotional turmoil.