It all makes sense now

29M and I finally put the pieces together on why I am the way I am, why my life is the way it is, and why I struggle so much with creating and maintaining relationships with others

I always felt like I had to fabricate my emotions/facial expressions when talking to people. And most people wouldn't realize I was on the spectrum since I usually don't get close enough to anybody for them to get to know the real me

I'm high functioning and can blend in crowds really well as long as I put in the energy, but it always exhausts me, like I'm playing improv every time I go outside and talk to others

I feel like a fucking moron that it took me this long to see the writing on the wall, and here I was thinking that I am the way I am because my upbringing was so dog shit and just gave me a weird personality

It's been a lot to take in and I just wanted to get this off my chest