Hey , I gave everything I had but ...

Firstly Congratulations to those who got selected this year very happy for you all Yeah it was my 3rd attempt u can see on my flair , and guess what I used to think I'll get the clg from start because of cutoff predictions but you all know what happened, I worked my ass off this year more than last year sacrificed everything I used to score 630+ in mocks in last preneet it's was 660+ I was sure I'll get the clg this year , even I said to my mom that I'll get the clg this don't worry , but that 3 hours shitty centre shit invigilators both were joking and laughing for whole 3 hours and it had weird thing a speaker in every classs and a woman was announcing in speaker for whole 3 hours even the instructions which were meant for invigilators were given in that loid speaker and most important I lost my calm and panicked in that first I was unable to solve alot of questions and did 7 omr mistakes , In my state for my category the cutoff of gmc is 505 And you can see those 7 omr mistakes in physics what did to my fate , my hardwork always got wasted I don't know why , I guess god hates me or the universe hates me Now all I am doing just laying on bed staring at the ceiling crying , gharwalo ke taunts , dropper hoke bhi 500 nhi laa paya 3 3 attempt ke baad bhi nhi kar paya kuch nhi kar paega zindagi me ,zindagi me tu kuch ukhad nhi paaega , friends who were meant to support me they also making fun of me , even my parents stopped talking to me for couple of days after seeing my ranks , now they do but they talk like it's burden to talk to me they talk more nicely to our maid as compared to me , everyone's making fun of me , dad said no more repeat jinka hona hota hai wo 1 2 attempt kar lete mujhe tere se koi ummeed nhi hai , and I guess they are right the fault is mine I guess I never worked hard , I don't know how I got those 17 18 awards when I was in school I am gonna burn them all I don't worth keeping them , I have no idea what to do , all I can do is just BDS even getting semi government is not guaranteed , every morning I wake up regret those 7 mistakes , I could have score more more than 505 I wish mai panic nhi hota I am just waste of their money can't fulfill anyone's dream neither expectations, there is nothing exciting left in my life no reason to survive , my parents don't want me , I am failure for them a big failure, relatives ke indirect taunts and mazak udana I just can't hear it anymore I am tired from everything I am done with everything, I don't trust hardwork now