A close friend ghosted me and I can’t get over it, I don’t know if I ever will.

Hey. This is my first post, I kinda just created this account to get some advice.

[Me (16f) and S (18m). Friendship lasted from beginning of school year to near the end of school year.]

I moved to a small town in Wisconsin in August of 2024. I started going to this small school. At the time I was trans (FTM), though I no longer identify that way.

During this school year I met my now ex-friend H, who introduced me to S, K, E and G. H was a closeted trans person, we no longer talk due to some recent events concerning my private life.

S and E were seniors, K and G were juniors, and H was a sophomore like me. S became my best friend, as he was also trans. E was also trans, but more closeted at home. K and G are both girls.

During the school year I had some mental health issues. I confided in S, and he seemed to help me a lot, but soon it was too much to handle. One day, S was not answering, and I went to E. E convinced S to go to the counselor with him to voice their concerns.

I was sent to the hospital, and after learning what had happened I had texted S and E saying some awful things. I now wish I could see they had helped me back then. I was truly a bad person.

When I returned me and S kept distance, but I attempted to rekindle with apologies (written mostly). He seemed to keep avoiding me, so one day I confronted him and we decided to be friends again.

As the year went on he kept his distance, and he expressed he wanted no talk of mental health or emotion. He would repeatedly say, “I am not a therapist”. But, as I never seem to fully recover, I still had troubles.

I would pick at my skin, and he would usually ignore it. We would still talk, but it got less and less like it used to be.

In the beginning of the year we would constantly hang out, but now he hardly spoke to me. He would hardly acknowledge me. He even still had me blocked.

I started to try more and more to just keep it alive, but nothing worked.

One day I realized he had unblocked me. I texted him one night after a choir concert saying good job, and the message delivered. He never replied, and that continued.

I hardly texted, maybe saying I missed him once or twice, but I never got a response.

Soon, it was the end of the year, I had slightly moved on, and he seemed to not care. Seniors left 2.5 days early than everyone else, so the last I saw him was walking down the school hallway in his grad stuff.

I thought I would see him again.

I didn’t get to say goodbye.

That was early June, and I haven’t seen him, spoke to him, or gotten a call, text, or email. I texted him one day after the end of school saying goodbye.

No response.

I texted again last Monday, telling him I missed him.

Still nothing.

Tonight, I was trying to call my grandma when I accidentally call E. I hung up and apologized, he said he didn’t even get a notification and asked how I was.

After a bit of conversation I asked how S was doing. E said he was good, but had limited communication with him. I asked if S had said anything about me. E said no.

I really miss S. I have cried so many times over the fact that I haven’t been able to see him or talk to him, that I didn’t even get to say goodbye. He was my best friend here. I won’t ever see him again.

I really don’t know what to do. I don’t know if he’s at college, I don’t know if he’s still in this town, and I don’t know if he even wants to talk to me.

How should I move forward? How should I move on, and should I even move on? Should I try to get into contact with him again? Should I just leave him alone?

I’m really broken over this. I can’t seem to move on and I can’t seem to want to do anything. He was my best friend. I loved him like a best friend. I would’ve done anything to keep us friends. I miss him so, so much. If I could go back and change things, I would. I never wished this upon him. I never wanted to hurt him.

I’m sorry.

If anyone can help, that would be great.

Thank you.

(I left a lot of details out, but this is the gist. Just ask if you need more details. It’s a long story that I don’t want to fully write out.)

TL;DR - my friend ghosts me after mental health problems during the school year. I haven't spoken to him in weeks.