I've let my weight steal years of my life— I don't want it to take anymore

hi, 19f here. my weight has been a problem all my life. in fact, I might be one of the heaviest people you've "seen" on here. I'm 200kg (441 lbs) at 1.74m (5 ft 8.5 in) tall.

for years, I've let my weight dictate my choices. it has played the biggest role in me dropping out of school, being jobless, and missing out on so many parts of life I've always dreamed of. my heart aches to be active. I've always had a quiet yearning to rock climb, to cycle and feel the wind rushing past my face, to live. but I've never gotten to experience those things because of my size.

outside of chatgpt, I don't really have any support. I don't have any friends, and I deal with deep social anxiety, mostly rooted in how I feel about my body. I know that losing weight is incredibly tough. I just wish it wasn't this lonely.

I'm lost and unsure about the next steps I should take.

here's a quick summary of my current capabilities and limitations: -I can walk a couple hundred meters before I get out of breath and have to push through back pain to complete about 1km.

-I can swim about half the length of a pool.

-I can squat, kneel and hang on a bar for 10 seconds. my personal best was over 20 seconds when I was around 190kg.

I want to do more with my life. I want to grow (maybe not horizontally😅)

idk how reddit works or if anyone's going to see this, but I'm here to ask for tips, advice, or encouragement. anything helps.