Lonely

My heads just swirling around with self hate right now and anyone I think Im close enough irl to reach out to.. I'm finding nobody can make time for me.. I'm thinking of cutting off communication with some friends but I dont think I'd get out to make any new friends.. just keep trapping myself in a pit of self hate thoughts in a quiet room.. depression has me in a vice and I think I've been here in this headspace for a year