AITA for refusing to host my friend’s friend, who used to avoid me in college, even though she needs a place to stay for a few weeks?

I (early 30s, F) have IBS, which unfortunately causes frequent flare-ups and, at times, noticeable smells. It’s something I manage the best I can, but it’s not always easy, and it’s definitely affected how people interact with me over the years.

Back in college, there was a girl (let’s call her “K”) who was part of my wider friend circle. K was never outright rude, but she would always avoid me unless our mutual friend (my close friend) was present. For example, if she saw me walking somewhere, she’d change direction to avoid having to interact. But when our mutual friend was around, K would suddenly be warm and friendly. It was obvious and hurtful, but I never confronted her — I just accepted that we weren’t really friends.

Fast forward to now: I live in a different city, and my close friend recently asked me if K could stay with me for a couple of weeks while she relocates and figures things out. Apparently, K is moving to my city for work and needs a place to crash temporarily.

I said no. I didn’t go into detail — just said my job is currently unstable and hence won't be able to host her.

Another mutual friend just posted online that it's good to be kind. The truth is, I don’t feel comfortable hosting someone who used to go out of her way to avoid me — especially considering my health issues haven’t gone away. I don’t want to feel self-conscious in my own home, and frankly, I don't feel like I owe this person anything.

Still, I’m wondering: AITA for saying no?

Posted Jun 23, 2025, 4:18 AM UTC · locked

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