Slept with my friend who’s married, twice.

I’ve known a friend of mine for about 10 years now. She’s now married and so am I. Shes 8 years younger than me, I’m 35 now.

Let’s start from When I was 27 and she was 19. We’ve know each other for a few years. I’m a film director and she wanted to learn my craft and very open about admiring me and my work. I also generally date very beautiful women and I think me having her in my presence made her feel good about her self on some leveI. She was very open and eager for a deeper emotional intelligence that she would often pick my brain about - I ended up mentoring her to some extent. She’s been with the same guy since they were 16. He’s a very small, about 5’4, same as her, and he’s always felt noticeably intimidated by me and her friendship with me.

One night she came over to watch a movie. I don’t know where they were in their relationship or if he didn’t have a location thing on her phone, but she had been coming around more often than usual for a few months, and I had seen her almost once every week leading up to this night.

So we’re watching a movie on my couch, I have a sectional and I’m on one side she’s on the other section, like 3 cushions away from me. We end up talking, and for whatever reason, I just decided to try to fuck her and see what happened. I knew she was into me, and also had matured faster than her bf and she’d been wanting more but felt very guilty about ever breaking up with him, since they’d been together for so long and he’s a very nice guy actually. But she’s out of his league. But anyways. So I don’t remember exactly how i worked the conversation to shift to this topic, but i essentially started making it open an opportunity for me to tell her I had feelings about her, but in a way of like, you turn me on and I want it.

Now, I do find her very attractive. She’s petite, fit, pretty Hispanic short girl. She’s super hot. But I am way older than her and she’s just 19 at this point so I’m not at all interested in her. And as this story will eventually explain, I had a very toxic trait back then of fucking married women. Like the thrill of getting a wife to fuck me, that was my thing. More on that later. So I really just wanted the ego boost.

So whatever I said last, was a real direct hit letting her know where I was at. She sat there taking in all this , hearing this for the first time after knowing her for a few years. Then, almost comically, she crawled very quickly over to me across the couch on her hands and knees, and straddled me and started kissing me. We made out and I felt up her sundress that she wasn’t wearing any panties. Which I thought was interesting for the good girl she actually is. I end up picking her up and walking her to my bedroom with her legs around me. I lay her down and start fingering her. So I’m sucking in her it’s and she’s really feeling the heat of the shock of all this and she’s extremely wet and into the hand, but then she abruptly stops me, and explains she feels guilty and we have to stop. We talk a lot it for like 30 mins, and I think she just wished I grabbed her and fucked her, but I wanted to respect that it was a serious, and just let that be the end of the night. So that’s that. I don’t hear from her again, until about a month and a half later, she comes over. I open the door and see the look in her eyes like she had spent the last month getting over her guilt, getting comfortable about the act, and getting excited about getting fucked by someone other than her bf. She’d never been with anyways else, btw.

As soon as she stepped in I closed the door, and we started making out. I asked her if he knew where she was and she just started kissing me and undressing me. We end up in my bed, and you know the details. Notably, she had expressed a lot through our sex at about being amazing at my size. Which to be honest I’m about 8 inches or so, but she just had only been with her very small current bf and I guess didn’t know what she was missing.

After our first round she started stroking me and said she wanted me again, which is always a boost to my satisfied ego when I hear that lol. So o fucked her again and this time I finished with her and her stomach and just really went in for the deep penetration, which I knew she hadn’t felt before. And that was the first time she had came so hard that she happy cried. And I could tell she had never even heard of that happening and didn’t understand it’s a powerful emotional release.

After that she disappeared for about 3 years. Intentionally avoided communication, which I understood as I knew she felt very guilty. But she didn’t unfollow or block my socials. She wanted to stay connected.

So now about 3 years later I’m 30, we reconnect and are back to friend again. We hang out a few times and the reconnection is back to normal, we’re tuned into each other. This leads to that, and I end up getting a hotel so she can come over as we’ve insinuated that we’re going to meet to hook up. She ends up texting me that she feels bad and can’t do it. The next day, I get a text asking if I’m still at my room. I get another room. She comes over in the middle of the day and we go right back to it. Sweaty and nasty like she’d been saving it all up for me for 3 whole years. She leaves and we never speak about it.

I knew for years that she feel very guilt about it all, and I think it contributed to her health issues on a metaphysical level. Since then we’ve stayed distant friends as she’s told me her now husband, senses something off between me and her. Years have gone by and just two Months ago, I saw her for a coffee. That conversation is what prompted this post.

I think she always felt I loved her. I think she loved me simply because I was more experienced in life and I gave her the respect that her creativity needed at that stage in her personal journey. As I mentioned before, it was more of a game for me to fuck other men’s women. There’s a girl I was madly in love with when I was younger and we never got the chance to hook up, who’s now married with children that I have fucked twice over the years when her husband was out of the country.

Now that I’m 35, and in a healthier space as a man, I also feel residual guilt for the original girl’s husband. She was young and wanted more physically than he could give her, which is tough for a man, especially if you’re a small build. And she felt bad that she even felt the desire to look else where. So I really feel bad for doing all that. I am married and extremely happy today.

And that’s what happened