Dad recently diagnosed

Per the title, my dad was recently diagnosed with colon cancer via colonoscopy results. He’s in his 70s and had light stomach discomfort for a little while, but no other symptoms. Currently waiting for more definitive tests to determine what stage and the proper mode of treatment. He looks and feels fine, so it’s hard to accept that he’s sick and potentially dying. Nevertheless, a deep part of me believes the upcoming tests will throw bad news at us. I feel like it’s going to be bad even though we technically don’t know.

I’m in my early 20s, just graduated college and have a job lined up in another city. My parents want me to keep the job and live my life, with frequent flights home obviously, but I can’t help but feel terribly guilty. My mom is retired and has graciously committed to taking care of my dad, and she doesn’t have the same choice to run away from everything like I do. Part of me wants to quit and stay with him, but I can’t help but feel like it’ll make things worse. I know he wouldn’t want to be responsible for “putting my life on hold” and he doesn’t want me to see him so sick. Selfishly, I also don’t want to see him that way, but I recognize that my mom probably doesn’t want to either and doesn’t have the same liberty that I do. I don’t know what to do.

I feel very young and very alone, especially because I don’t have siblings. My friends’ parents are all younger, so while they’ve been really supportive, they don’t really understand. I’ve always struggled with emotional vulnerability, so it’s hard for me to talk to them about this. I feel like a live wire right now. I’m at a really critical point in my life, and I’m moving somewhere completely new with no local contacts. I feel like I’m drowning, sometimes I’m afloat and everything is ok, but other times I can’t breathe. These days leading up to his further testing have been particularly difficult. I wish I could stop time right now and enjoy life before receiving his potentially terminal diagnosis. My dad is my best friend, and I don’t want him to be in pain. I also can’t imagine life without him, but I know this isn’t a unique feeling.

I guess I’m looking to see if anyone has advice about early stages in cancer diagnosis/treatment, or about losing a parent while in your 20s and/or living out-of-state. Part of me feels like if I don’t take this job opportunity, I’ll never get my life back on track after he passes. I don’t know what the right move is here, and I’m trying not to be selfish.