AITAH for shouting at my fiancé and his friend during our camping trip after feeling disrespected by their behavior?

I (33 F) recently returned from a 3-day camping trip with my fiancé (41 M), my son, my best friend (31 F), my mom and her friend (mid-50s). To give some context, my fiancé is a former chef and avid outdoorsman who tends to take the lead in outdoor activities, while my mom is more passive and introverted, but agreed to stay behind and cook for the group.

Here’s where the trouble started: When we began planning meals for the trip, my fiancé kept interjecting, turning down ideas and saying my mom was trying to bring too much food. While I do agree to an extent, we ignored him because he made it clear he’d be out on the lake with his friend most of the time, so the rest of us were planning for meals that we could enjoy at the campsite in their absence. My mom tends to cook a lot (we’re talking 2 lbs of food per meal), but we figured that was perfect for a group of our size. We did have to waste some, but the intention was good and useful on high activity days in the summer heat.

We also had issues with parking when we arrived at the campsite. I had called ahead to confirm the parking situation, but when I got there, I was told I had to pay a $30 daily fee for my car. I was frustrated, especially since my fiancé had reassured me this would be a non-issue, but I eventually worked through it and had to unload a car that was packed to the brim with food, gear, and my friend’s belongings. I was growing increasingly frustrated as I saw that the car my fiancé traveled in had so much less than mine. I expected an equal distribution and felt like our comfort on the trip was ignored to appease his fishing partner who drives a Lexus. After a grocery pickup, our ride up the mountain had no open space. Every spot was filled.

When we set up camp, it quickly became clear that my fiancé and his friend hadn’t planned for how close the tents were to one another. My fiancé is ex-military and should know that people don’t want to be packed in like sardines, but he set them up side-by-side, leaving no privacy or space for anyone to be comfortable. I let that slide and got to work organizing the campsite and setting up camp chairs and food. My fiancé and his friend left to go fishing, which helped the mood a lot. I needed a project to focus on and calm down.

That night, my fiancé was upset that I didn’t want to sleep with him right away. We usually don’t sleep together due to different schedules and me being a light sleeper, but he seemed upset by declining to join him. I stayed by the fire with my friend and didn’t go to bed until later. He flapjacked around the air mattress in our tent for 20 minutes before dozing off. It would have been no good for my rest to be there.

The next day, things took another turn when my fiancé mishandled an inflatable kayak I’d bought for him as a birthday gift. He and his friend shoved it against the car, which damaged it. I was really hurt by that, especially since money was tight for me, and I had worked hard to get it for him. I ended up calling them both "idiots" because I couldn’t believe they’d treat something so fragile with such disregard.

After that, we went swimming for hours and were invited to join the boys on a boat trip that turned out to be a disaster. We were in a tiny boat that felt unsafe due to high winds and choppy water, and it took several requests for my fiancé to slow down the boat so we could feel safe. My friend and I grew up around water sports and boats, if we weren't comfortable it was for good reason. We weren't on a barge, or even a pontoon, it was a dingy motor boat that could be relatives with a Planter's peanut can. When we got back to camp, my mom had prepared a huge meal, but my fiancé and his friend didn’t eat much and ended up wasting a lot of food. They seemed more focused on drinking beer and leaving trash everywhere.

My friend and I are experienced campers, so we were really annoyed by the littering and made multiple requests for them to clean up after themselves, but they didn’t seem to care. I follow a strict no trace rule and do not tolerate littering around me. It is one of the pillars of who I am ethically. When it came time to break camp, my fiancé got frustrated because he thought people were being lazy sitting around camp. I had already done a lot of the heavy lifting, but had help so I had no patience left for his attitude. He and his friend woke up last and were throwing a blind accusation. He snapped at the group but meant to target my mom in that statement about washing some pans, even though she’d already done a lot of cooking and catering for the group. I yelled at him in response, telling him he was being disrespectful, and things got heated. My mom ended up leaving the campsite in tears, and my son, who has autism, started getting upset too. My mom left one pan unwashed as they fried catfish they caught on the lake. The two other pans we had were on the stove with breakfast she had just cooked. One pan with pancakes, the other with eggs. We ran out of plates and left them there to serve ourselves buffet style in a coffee cup or a plastic lid of tupperware. We all made do without complaints, but he snapped with no understanding of what camp was before he woke. Instead of asking tenderly or considerately of his future mother in law, he kept saying "this is absurd" and bringing the mood of everyone down.

After all this, I spent some time talking to my mom and my friend, both expressing my concerns about my relationship. I’m wondering if I overreacted. I did a lot of the physical labor on the trip (setting up camp, cleaning, and breaking down camp), and I don’t think it’s fair that my fiancé and his friend treated my mom like a maid. He also disrespected my kayak, didn’t take safety seriously on the boat, and let things get out of hand with their littering.

I’m at a point where I’m seriously considering ending my engagement because of how things went down. My fiancé feels that my mom’s friend should’ve helped with the breakdown, but I don’t think she should’ve had to since she was the only one who slept in her car both nights. My friend has a bad shoulder injury so I wouldn't have elected them to do the physical labor.

Am I the asshole for shouting at them? Did I do something wrong? AITAH for feeling like the weight of this trip and these issues could be a dealbreaker for my relationship? I should be unpacking, but instead I am here, disgruntled and my peace disturbed over the blatant lack of consideration. I will be active in the comments if you have any questions for me. Please help