My life feels unlivable after losing my girlfriend

We were together for like a year and a half and knew each other for a few years before that. I have never had a more beautiful and loving bond with someone like I did with her. We had our future planned out and I was so excited to spend my life with her.

Just out of nowhere she left. She always vented to me about traumatic events in her life, shit that would make your toes curl, and it would shock me, and then she’d get mad at me for not knowing what to say. Eventually she threatened to break up with me, and gave me one more chance.

She just decided to break up with me anyway. She threw everything we had away just because she didn’t want to go see a therapist. I hate myself for not being able to be there for her like she wanted but I still have no clue what I was supposed to do. I tried everything, a lot of which was her own advice.

Now she’s out sleeping around with other men and I’m just left a shell of a human being. I don’t even want to live anymore. I don’t even have it in me to describe the feeling, I just hate life and I hate myself and I hate my ex. My life isn’t supposed to be like this, I don’t know what to do or where to go or if it’s even worth it. I just want everything to go back to normal.