My worries of the rapture

I've grown up in a Christian household my whole life. My mother started taking me to church at a young age and I was a very Christian child. I'm 15 now and things have changed. My family has gotten busy financially and we haven't had much time to go to church. I find myself not as tied to christ as I used to be. I was a 7th day Adventist for a while because I was dating someone who was and wanted to try to find my place. after she left me and put me through a lot emotionally, I became an atheist and resented any form of religion. I haven't felt close to Christ since I dated that girl and i find myself having a hard time believing he's real. Now that talks have arose of war between Isreal and Iran, as said in the Bible to be a sign that the end is near, I find myself worried about how things will go. I've been praying recently but I'm scared that I'm not a full believer in Jesus. I've been really stressed and scared because of the fact that the end could be near. I've always wanted to live a long happy life that everyone else has gotten to live, not have mu mortal life end at 15. And even if the rapture is a positive things for me, I'm scared I'm not enough of a believer to have eternal peace in heaven. this is by far the most personal I've ever gotten on a reddit post, so I hope for kind words and encouragement. thanks.