i feel like im a terrible person pushing stereotypes [tw transphobia]

i dont want to get into the details but i am still dating this person, were just on break currently to beable to see things with as clear of a head as possible without just straight up ending things.

regardless of that context, they violated a heavily previously laid our no go rule. asked in the moment if i wanted to go farther, i hummed no, they didnt hear, and they did it anyways.

i feel so terrible calling it rape and i hate it whenever someone refers to them as my rapist because theyre just. not to me. theyre my girlfriend that i miss multiple times a day and that i want to hold me.

my girlfriend is nonbinary (they/them) and "an aspiring future tfem" to try and capture their own ideas on their gender goals. i feel like by saying what happened im pushing this transphobic horror trope that transfems are rapists and will sexually assault "real women" despite me also not being a 'real woman' as i am gender queer. i feel like im making life so much harder for people like them, by just using the most high reaction words i can to describe an undesirable experience. that im a terrible awful transphobe because i cant deal with a cock on me.