Dependent on my medication

I’ve been taking adhd meds for 2 years now, (concerta 54mg, but that’s besides the point) and I haven’t been taking the medication this summer as a break in between school. I did the same thing last summer, and I was definitely lazier and less motivated, but this summer is a lot worse. I feel depressed, unmotivated, tired, irritable, my workouts suck, I’m constantly seeking easy dopamine, and it is so hard to control my diet. I’ve clearly grown a dependency to this medication and I can’t really get advice from this standpoint. I’m going to a psychiatrist soon but I’m just genuinely really concerned with how much I’m relying on this medication. I always see people say stuff like, “use medication to your advantage but DON’T become dependent on it,” yet here I am. I definitely needed to treat my adhd but now I feel like I’ve been set further back than I was pre medication. Other things that have significantly changed: I’ve always had social anxiety but now it’s 10x worse then ever, I can’t hold or pay attention to conversations, I’ve lost interest in many things that I used to be so passionate about, and I’ve been very unfaithful. Please leave anything helpful (for reference, I sincerely make my best efforts towards daily exercise and eating healthy. I know a lot about nutrition and wellness)