Trying to resist compulsions
Not sure if I meet the criteria for ocd but I am being assessed by my therapist next week.
Anywho, one of my compulsions is to check my room and house for bugs if I find a bug somewhere. The uncertainty of where they might be and if there will be an infestation has been giving me some anxiety spirals since we found a couple carpet beetles by the window sill. Another compulsion is spraying insecticide around the perimeter and interior crevices.
We have a cat (I always isolate her in a different room until the insecticide is completely dried) and she was staring at the side of my bed and when I looked there was a giant spider while I was laying on the bed. Needless to say, I freaked out, sent that spider to god, and tried my best to collect myself.
The compulsion to check came and I gave in for a little bit but before I started checking the rest of the room and the rest of the house I decided to stop. It felt like I was going to crawl out of my skin but I just stood in my room taking deep breaths until I managed to muster the courage to sit on the bed and then lay back down.
I only recently just became aware that some of my anxiety spirals and reassurance seeking could be ocd and I hear that resisting compulsions can help tolerate uncertainty better. I love summer weather but I HATE HATE HATE bugs.
Posted Jun 23, 2025, 4:29 AM UTC