New friend is completely overwhelming me

[No official diagnosis yet but strong suspicions, mid-30s F]

Background: I struggle a lot with talking on the phone. Texting is usually fine, but I like to take my time to respond sometimes (minutes to hours). In-person socializing is extremely draining, but I can handle 1-2 social events in a week with planning.

I made a new friend at work a couple of months ago. She told me she has ADHD and has made a lot of comments about struggling to connect to neurotypical people, which is fine! We both seem to be misunderstood by coworkers a lot and struggle to mask at times. My hope was that we’d have similar limitations.

In the past couple of weeks she’s totally overwhelmed me. She’s asked me to a lot of social stuff that I’ve turned down, even when we’ve already hung out that week. She tried to invite herself to a dinner with my husband’s work friends today. She also likes to call me right after I respond to a text message, so I feel bad ignoring her call because it’s obvious I’m near my phone.

I’m honestly so overwhelmed I had a panic attack tonight. She’s very nice and I want to keep her as a friend but I can’t do this anymore. It doesn’t feel like people other than my husband have ever responded well to talking about these kinds of limits. Even my family thinks it’s not good for me to say no to social situations.