Please give me the chance to go with you. I promise I won’t take it for granted

I always wished to go peacefully and by God he gave me chances so many times but I never took them.

I remember each time I kept walking in a dream at a certain point I knew I wouldn’t wake up if I didn’t go back. I knew it. You grabbed me and lifted me I switched bodies you dropped the “old” one and lifted me in my new suit to show you wanted ME to go with you. I was scared you tapped your fingers in an impatient manner. I remember you showed me the white light at such a young age I was afraid because I thought I wouldn’t come back. The second time you showed it to me I ran into it and my god….. that feeling when I stepped into it I knew I could never achieve that on earth with anyone or with anything. I’d only experience that in death. Peaceful. Another time you took my hand and I let go when I stepped into the light just to get that feeling again. The last time you gave me a chance to leave was years ago…… you knew when I was a child I wasn’t meant for this. I’m sorry I was afraid to go with you the first time. Please… come back… grant me the chance to walk into that white light or keep walking in my dream to where I know I won’t return.