I miss her a lot lately.

I don't want to reach out but I find myself wishing she would. I know the person I miss doesn't even exist. And yet I keep thinking anout how happy I'd be if she called. I'd be worse afterwards I know. I know it's for the best that we are apart. I was happier than I have been in my adult life when it was good. It was fake, I know.

I guess I'm just hoping saying it makes it go away in the way that drug or alcohol cravings do.