This is probably a bad idea…

Myself (M21) and my Girlfriend (F21) have been together for about 4 years now. We’ve been together since high school, we were each others firsts. We have a lovely relationship, but I wouldn’t be here if something wasn’t up.

I know this is bad, I know it’s awful, but I have a huge urge to cheat on her. I know I shouldn’t, I know it’s fucked up, but I can’t resist anymore. I’ve spent the last 2 years trying to repress this, trying to push this desire down. Each time I try, it just comes back stronger.

I don’t know what it is about cheating that makes me want it so bad. Maybe it’s the adrenaline, the rush. Like the fact that I shouldn’t cheat makes me want to so much more. Whatever it is, it makes me want to cheat more than anything my GF can provide.

I know how fucked up this is but at this point I don’t care. I know I should, I know I shouldn’t be selfish, but I just don’t care anymore. If that makes me a bad person then I suppose I get off to being awful.

Anyways, I’m gonna do it, I just don’t know with who yet. I say I’m gonna regret it, but I don’t know if I will. I know that’s probably bad, but at this point I don’t care. Regardless, I’m ready to see where it goes.