Letting go of someone you love at this stage of life

This post is very much in the mood of the title. Today I (F49) ended a relationship with a someone (M46) I met online. We dated for just over a year, at first it was brilliant we laughed all the time, were affectionate and cute and had a lovely connection.

As time went on it became clear he has undiagnosed ADD and/or autism. We spoke about these and tbh I loved him more for it as I’m also quite quirky and possibly on the spectrum. I think we held up a mirror to eachother and both saw ourselves reflected back. The trouble is, his heavy drinking. He hid it for ages but as the months went on I realised this guy is putting away 7 beers a night, every night.

I spent over a decade in a relationship with an addict and barely made it out alive. So heavy drinking is a hard no for me. It’a not just the drinking it’s what comes with it… you feel like there’s a third party in the relationship blocking you from getting close to the person you love. Anyway after he cancelled an important date with me last week due to being hungover… I ended things.

I know it’s for the best, and I saved myself years of future hurt and frustration (yay me) but holy hell my heart aches. Especially as we had such a great and special bond and he’s a beautiful person. Just looking for some supportive words I guess as I’ve been in tears all weekend.