I feel bad for wanting more of a sex life

I 18m have been dating my 18f for over two years. We have never been super sexual so this is nothing new but it’s really been getting to me lately and I feel awful about it. I make advances because she doesn’t initiate which get shot down 90% of the time. I caught myself dry begging the other day. I’d say a good 75% of our encounters are me giving her head (which I really enjoy) and the other 25 is us 69ing. We don’t have actual sex ever because she says it hurts or starts crying. We have had several conversations about it and she doesn’t know why she cries. I have no idea why it hurts her (I have an average member and I do lots of foreplay) but it’s gotten to the point where I asked her not to ask for sex (she asks for that when I give her head once every blue-moon). I give her head twice-ish a week and we 69 once every other week. Getting denied this often has wrecked my self esteem. It feels like she’s not attracted to me or doesn’t like me idk. She has given me reassurance about that when I brought it up but I can’t shake the feeling. I feel bad because it feels like I unconsciously push her sometimes even though I know her libido is low.