Spent my birthday alone. Feeling lots of things.

I turned 24 today. My boss didn’t approve my time off request so I worked until 2. My boyfriend of five years asked me if I wanted to do anything for my birthday a few weeks ago and I said “I’m not sure. I work until 2.”

He took that to mean he could make other plans. So he attended his friend’s birthday party (all day) today. Even though we’ve spent every one of our birthdays together since we’ve been together.

I asked my sister if she was free and she worked. Come to find out today that she went to bingo and drinks with our friend and didn’t invite me even though she knew I’d be alone today.

So essentially I got three signs that I wasn’t meant to spend the day with anyone. But my boyfriend decided to stick around for about an hour after I got home because he wanted to tick the box of spending time with me on my birthday even though I told him multiple times that it really hurt my feelings that he would prefer I spend my birthday alone than cancel his plans. He was following me around like a puppy dog until I started crying and said “you hurt my feelings. I am sad. Please go away.”

On top of that, I smashed my finger with a mallet yesterday at work and it’s in a splint. So even though I had made peace with spending my birthday alone and decided to just relax, crochet, and swim, those tasks were not easy and I wish I’d had someone who was willing to drive or just help me with basic tasks.

I just spent the day watching TV and attempting to play piano. I really do enjoy being alone, but I simultaneously feel some weird voice telling me that I had a lame birthday and no one cares. Idk. Tell me about birthdays you’ve spent alone as an adult so I feel better.