Am I Selfish For Wanting To Die?

I have a boyfriend that I live with, a big family, dogs, a cat, etc. I’ve struggled with mental health my whole life but i recently got medication for it. It’s helped a lot but I think an antibiotic I’m on is interfering with it (not that it really matters) but idk I can’t help but think I’m being selfish for this when I have so many people that would be upset with me if I did this. But then at the same time I’m constantly fighting with my family and my boyfriend and I had actually been really great there for a while. Until today. Today we got into a huge fight and he isn’t speaking to me. He might leave me if I do this and it doesn’t work. But we’re fighting right now anyway. And I could always try again? Idk I’m just really confused and I’m tired of this life.