One of these days…

I’m going to snap. I’m going to yell and scream. I’m going to tell everyone how much I hate them and what they are. Use every possible vulnerability point and stab it, repeatedly. I want people to cry, to hate me.

I want to tell everyone the truth, because I see it. I see how everyone around me pretends like they’re perfect and reasonable but they’re not. How none of them made me feel safe, and how I’ll never feel safe in my home thanks to them. How I lost my childhood, how much I hate myself. How I want to die and get it over with. And the only reason I don’t is for the same people who hurt me, and how much I resent them for making me feel guilty about wanting die. Making me feel guilty about a life I don’t want to live.

I hate them, all of them. Sucking out my life, my love for them. I wish I could rid myself of everyone, start fresh, away from my roots. But no matter what, my role has been decided, if not by them, then by those at large. I’ll never escape it, or them.

I just want to be happy