Deliberating anxiety at night

For the better part of a week I have been having unbearable anxiety EVERY NIGHT before going to sleep. I do my best to stay active during the day, things like talking to people, strenuous exercise, finished off by maybe a late night drive or talking to a friend. But it’s as soon as I get home where I genuinely lose my shit.

Negative thoughts race through my mind that I just can’t seem to silence no matter what I do. When my anxiety spikes, it’s also followed by persistent suicidal thoughts. I have suicidal thoughts that subtly linger throughout the day, but at night these thoughts simply can’t be tamed no matter what I do.

Does anyone have advice? My mom has Benzos I can take but I DONT want to take these because I know I’d get addicted and I’m aware of how hellish the withdrawal phase is.