I just need to get this out, idk if I need a solution but just wanna get this out.

Hi. This is an alt account, so this obviously isn't connected to my actual account. I'm 15, and use to be conservative, but a year ago, I stopped and stuff, and I started to be an lgbt ally, but my parents /hometown is conservative, so I know there isn't much lgbt here but I had twitter, which I was a big ally on and helped a lot of trans women/men and a lot lgbtq people through a lot of suicide and self harm, and they helped me. In November, I began to question sexuality, and one of my trans friends said "girl, you're an egg right now, call yourself by she/her and see how you like it" (I'm a guy at birth) and I liked it. When she called me "girl" it felt right, and when I called myself she/her it felt right, and I sorta "tested the water" with pronouns I like until about late January/early February, before I somewhat decided that I was trans. I wasn't 100% sure and sometimes still not, but I feel like I am. Here's the part that gets good, on Valentine's Day, a girl I've always talked to and sorta had a crush on (over twitter, I had talked to her for months beforehand, she's my best friend and helped me out of rough stuff, like parent abuse and dysphoria, she's trans too), asked me out, and I ofc accepted, she's wonderful and beautiful (I made sure she's my age and we've called dozens of times before). She's really helped me, and I love her so much. But recently I've been getting depressed because I feel like I'll never be accepted for who I am where I live, and I know I won't be accepted by everyone, but I wish my friends could at least. I'm just scared if I tell even accepting friends they might tell someone, I just don't feel like I'm actually trans, it feels like I'm pretending to be trans cause I'm not out publicly, not out to anyone irl, and it hurts. I hate being called my name, I hate being called he/him stuff like that, and I've told my gf about this but tbh not all of it, she has her own problems I worry more about, idk I just feel sad about it. I'm just a mentally unstable weirdo. Sorry for the rant. I just hate not being out. TLDR: I'm depressed that I can't come out