I’m experiencing the worst heartbreak of my life

I’ve never really posted anything on reddit before but I don’t know what else to do. I met this woman two years ago, she’s the most wonderful person I’ve ever met. She’s beautiful, smart and an amazing mother to her two kids. However, I’ve been in love with her for over a year without any reciprocation, which has been incredibly hard and draining. But I’ve pushed through cause talking to her always made all my sadness go away for a little while, it didn’t feel like it mattered that she didn’t love me back, at least we were talking. But then I had a huge realization… I don’t think she likes me at all… We used to hang out a lot and I was having the time of my life, going on walks, eating lunch together - as friends, I knew she wasn’t interested in me like that.

Then I asked her this friday if she wanted to hang out, but she told me she’s on summer break and that she will be back at work in august. This was obviously confusing, she’s not going away on vacation, she just isn’t working. So I asked her if her plan was to not talk to me until August, and all I got in reply was “Have a nice summer, [my name]🌸”. I was extremely hurt by this cause I thought she liked me, but she seems to look at hanging out with me as part of her job or something.

She’s had periods of time where she ignored me before, and they always made me lose my mind. I don’t know how to do anything without thinking about her and planning our future conversations in my head. And then she comes back like nothing happened and I forget how mental I just was. But this time when she basically told me she was ignoring me again, I felt that knowing ache in my body and I realized I cannot do this anymore. She doesn’t even seem to care about me at all, and I feel like such a burden now. I’m just annoying her, of course she wants a break from me…

So I told her that it’s fine that she doesn’t like me that much, but for my own sake I won’t contact her again when August comes around. She didnt reply anything, she read the message and seemingly went on with her day like nothing had changed. Cause she doesn’t care.

I’ve started spiraling at this point, cause I thought she would at least say something, anything. But she actually just does not give a single fuck about me. So now I’ve cut all contact with her forever and I feel so empty, she was my everything. I can’t do anything but cry, all I think about is her. Parts of me haven’t even realized, I’m still planning our conversations in my head, but they won’t ever fucking happen and I seriously have no idea how I’m supposed to live anymore. My whole body physically hurts and I’m crying so much I’m choking on my tears. I’m the one who ended it but God do I regret it, I want her back so bad. I want to call her and beg her to take me back, I can’t do this. Life has no meaning without her, it’s lost all its color. I can’t even talk to anyone about it cause all my friends just say I’m overdramatic, we were never even together. But my love for her was still so strong, so big. And now I’m just supposed to chuck it all out the window and go on with my life? I can’t, I actually can’t…

TLDR: I cut contact with a friend I’m in love with and I feel like I’m at my lowest point ever.