I [29F] am considering rekindling a friendship with someone [33F] whose husband [36M] called my husband [29M] a slur.

Hey, advice needed.

Many years ago, I [29F] was friends with my neighbours. [33F, 33M] I was mostly friends with the wife. We hung out every day. We shared a courtyard and became close. We both had kids the same age. (both 6M currently) Our kids used to describe themselves as "best friends."

It was all fine until an argument with myself and her husband broke out. It was over something stupid, I don't remember what. It was more of a back-and-forth disagreement. No one was yelling. Except the neighbour started calling me a c*nt. I knew this guy had anger problems, so I walked away and went inside because I didn't want things to escalate.

My husband got home and asked him why he called me that. The neighbour guy started calling my boyfriend a f*ggot. For context, my boyfriend is bisexual. The only people who knew at the time were me and them. He then started telling my husband he was going to tell everyone we knew that he was secretly bi. This led to my boyfriend feeling like he had to come out, so he did. No one in our lives cared, but he hadn't planned on ever coming out since he's in a straight relationship.

Over a few days, we tried talking to them. What ruined that was when my husband was trying to make amends with this guy, and he once again started calling my husband the slur. The neighbour guy went inside, got his kid, and said, "See, that's what we call a f*ggot" to his kid.

It was, and honestly still is, one of the most bizarre and outrageous things a person has done to me or my husband. It was completely blown out of proportion for no reason. Before neighbour guy started losing his shit, it was just bickering. We moved and never talked to them again.

A year later, the wife reached out to me. She apologized and said her husband has borderline personality, which is what caused that "outburst." She swears her husband isn't homophobic, he was just angry. I briefly talked to her on and off, but my husband is pissed. He wants nothing to do with them, so I keep the conversations short and small-talk-like.

Part of me wonders if a friendship with just her is possible? I don't have many friends. And neither does my son. Today, she messaged me and asked if I wanted to go to the park and have the kids reconnect. I do, but my husband doesn't want our kid near them or their son. I do think that man is unhinged, but I don't think my old friend is a bad person. She's rationalizing his behaviour.

My husband has forbidden me from taking our son to the park with her. Part of me feels a little weird about him forbidding stuff since I am the other parent, but I mostly understand. I don't think a single meeting is the end of the world, but I get my husband's POV.