I feel like my doctors are gaslighting me into believing i don't have OCD and it's making me feel crazy

I'm writing a rundown on my greatest "fears" over time that all feel the same. A "What if" leads to "Oh that's dumb" leads to obsessing over it for months or years until it stops and comes back.

The first time I obsessed like this was in middle school, remembering a suppressed memory. But just earlier in the year I had watched a science video on this Hot Air Balloon experiment, where they photoshopped 10 people in a Hot Air Balloon and asked them about their trip a week later. Paraphrasing, but maybe half remembered vivid details of something that never happened. I agonized for weeks over if my recalled memory was real or somehow implanted into my mind by myself.

For two years (recent) I ghosted my dad because my brain convinced me he molested me as a kid and someday during sex I'd have some grand flashback to "cure me", and I'd finally be able to heal or something after remembering. I still struggle with intrusive thoughts of his hands as I masturbate at times, though I used to unwillingly picture family every time and I'd have to either force myself to think of something else (which hardly worked) or stop alltogether. Very frustrating and terrifying situation.

I medically transitioned to a man because of intrusive thoughts of men and my dad, as well as some other issues. It felt like every time I was seen as woman I was being mind-raped for lack of better word. It felt like I was actively in a dangerous situation for being seen as a woman and my fight or flight would go off. While transitioning I would constantly check my binding, my voice, my facial features, my hips, any semblance of womanhood would trigger some neediness in me to over-examine and "correct". I would want to be stealth but would always out myself for fear of being some filthy liar. I felt like if people knew I was trans I would get raped or killed.

I still struggle with my sexuality. I go back and forth between bisexual and lesbian, I have constant thoughts of men despite not wanting to be with them, and I used to have thoughts of random men raping me. Every time I'm worried about my sexuality I read as many reddit threads about it as I can, even though I know others can't tell for me. Every time I'd pass a man on the street I would imagine him hurting me. When I came out as bisexual to my mom I imagined a man, immediately followed by the thought of him harming me that made me cry. Any man that I am around I still feel some weird sexual or rapey tension. I know it's in my mind but being around them is uncomfortable. I've had intrusive thoughts about animals and kids and have felt uncomfortable around them in highschool. I've had times where I had to walk back to my car and check if it was locked multiple times, "just-right" urges, skin picking really bad, but physical compulsions like this were short lived.

My therapist says that it doesn't sound like OCD because I don't have compulsions, and that "pure O" doesn't really clinically exist and is just seen as anxiety. But I feel like "just anxiety" doesn't make you break down sobbing in front of your mother because your every day intrusive thoughts of your dads hands makes you convinced that there was something sinister happening as a child.

TLDR; Intrusive thoughts have ruined some aspects of my life but my therapist is saying that it's just anxiety and that radical acceptance will fix it. Is it possible to only suffer from intrusive thoughts & avoidance without qualifying for an OCD diagnosis?