How do I (23F) stop resenting my (30M) bf?

We’ve been together for 2 years now. He’s honestly been the best person I’ve been with so far in my life. Obv in the beginning, things are always good. I just don’t know where or when the ball kinda dropped. Maybe he just kinda kept testing my limits to see what he could get away with and I let him?

He’s called me such hurtful names since the 3 month mark actually, but I kept forgiving it because he’d apologize. He’s called me “downie brownie” (downie for Down Syndrome and brownie because I’m South Asian). I don’t have Down Syndrome. He’s called me dumb in more ways than 1. His whole personality is making jokes and poking fun, but it’s honestly not just me who gets offended by these kinds of things. His friends and their girlfriends have said to him, that what he’s saying is offensive and mean, but he doesn’t seem to get the gravity of the things he says.

For the past 2.5-3 weeks now, I’ve been feeling extremely resentful of him. It’s the name calling and instances where I feel he can’t prioritize things properly. The biggest example I can give (that is also really affecting why I’m feeling resentful) is when I had an abortion a year and a bit ago. It was a mutual decision. But, he chose to spend time his friends over being with me while I was going through that. He told me if I needed him, he’d come over. When I texted him around 11 pm asking him to come over, he said I had to wait 1.5-2 hours for him to sober up as he had a bit much to drink and couldn’t drive right away. His actions and behavior during this time, is really what’s eating me up. When I asked him why he chose his friends all he could say to me was (verbatim) “I don’t know, cause I’m dumb”.

I really do wanna move past this, but I just don’t know how. Talking to him is a bit challenging because he keeps saying that I’m bringing the same thing up over and over again and that what I’m saying isn’t new to him. I’ve said all this to him before. Which he isn’t wrong about, but I just haven’t healed from some of the stuff that’s happened. I always forgive him because what else am I supposed to do or say in that kinda situation?

I’m scared of leaving and starting over again. I feel like this is the best I’m gonna get and maybe I don’t deserve better?