Has anyone left their hometown (and family) for a better life elsewhere—and how did it go?

Hey Reddit,

I’m hoping to hear from anyone who’s been in a similar spot. I’m 36, a new mom, and have lived in my hometown my entire life. My mom is here, and so is one of my brothers and his kids. Another brother lives a couple of hours away. My mom and I are really close—she’s sweet, kind, and loving, but she’s also extremely anxious. After years of encouraging her, she finally started Zoloft and is doing better, but she still brings a lot of emotional weight into my life. She’s my best friend, but she also makes me anxious just by how negative and dependent she can be.

My dad’s emotionally absent, and my mom just sort of goes along with whatever he says. They don’t really do anything. Conversations are usually just about family drama, and it feels like the energy in their home hasn’t changed in decades.

On the flip side—my husband has the most wonderful, emotionally healthy family. They live in California and are calm, curious, fun, and active. They go to museums, try new restaurants, explore new cities, travel. When I’m around them, I feel lighter. More like the version of myself I want to be. They want us to move out there, and part of me wants it so badly. I want my son to grow up around that kind of energy and opportunity.

But then there’s the guilt. How do you leave your mom behind when she’s so emotionally fragile? It feels like she needs me. And yet—I can’t help but ask: don’t I deserve to live a life that fills me up? Don’t I want more for my son than what’s here?

I guess I’m wondering if anyone has made a move like this—leaving behind the familiar, even close family, to start a new chapter. Did it help? Was it hard? Do you regret it? Or was it the best thing you ever did?

Thanks for reading—I’d love to hear your stories. ❤️