Wish I could turn back the clock

Just back to when I didn’t have to fake smile or laugh. Back when I wasn’t angry or didn’t hate myself or hate the thought of being a burden on those I love. Back when I wasn’t so sad and depressed or feel like the only time my mind was at peace was sleeping or crying my eyes out. My life was shitty at times back then but I’ll take the shitty moments where I was ignorant to the horrible suffocating loneliness and self hatred I wallow in everyday coupled with a side of suicidal ideation. Ignorance truly is bliss at times, isn’t it.