Is it possible to give off signs of sexual abuse if your abuse was non contact (CSA)?

So basically for backstory, my uncle deliberately and intentionally (left me to be) exposed to sexually abusive pornography (CSAM, incestual relationships, grooming/age gaps, rough kinds of it.), while also mentally and physically abusing me throughout the span of a year and a half. The first time he confronted me, all he did was smirk and laugh about it. My family found out but they all wanted to get me on injections, a neurologist, and into a mental hospital. Older teens and adults would also make me watch heavy pornography with them, read out stuff they wrote, and so much more. I also have other experiences with grooming, lots of catcalling, and COCSA.

I'm honestly pretty confused about this because after doing some research and ruminating, I had been showing a lot of signs of sexual abuse, especially with how I would purposely leave signs and sexually act out towards adults, including even my own parents, that I wanted to experience stuff and was basically "begging" to be groomed, I would also be touching them inappropriately with and without consent, awake or asleep, curious and wanting to experience what was exposed to me, that this is what I should be doing to make them feel good (though, it rarely happened, only if I felt curious enough and such, though I still acted inappropriate.) Other signs were:

— Reenacting it on my stuff toys and dolls, I would also make my own stuff toys do things to me and such. I would also write about it as stories. I would also reenact on myself, of course. — I started regressing and acting pretty immature, thumbsucking and wanting to be treated like a baby again. I was also heavily diassociaiting and most of my memories were full of sexual thoughts of the adults around me. I was also heavily hypersexual, would oversexualize myself, and romanticize/sexualize every aspect of my life. My perception of love was completely lost and I slowly started having the same thoughts with my own crushes as a kid, thinking to show love, was to have sex. Then at some point, I would start feeling numb and out of my body and hated wearing anything that showed my skin, labelling myself as a boy. — Hypersexual to the point that I became sore and burning down there because I wouldn't stop and unlike most girls my age, I developed lots of discharge and stuff. — Roleplaying with adults online, especially older women (as it was what my trauma is centered on). Heavy power dynamics, sometimes incestual, or them just making me act as a guy and being rough and hard. They would send me nudes and I would also try to send back. — I would flirt with older men around me and try to make myself seem special and vulnerable, putting myself in situations where they would try and hurt me. This behavior though went all the way up until I was 12. — Acted inappropriate in public with my friends. You guys get this part. — Heavy sexual discussions with older teen friends and kids my age. I remember my male friends exchanging h*ntai comics with me, telling me how much they've masturbated and such, their sizes down there, etc.

Most of these lasted only a year and happened a few times, though lots of it did persist for 1-2 years longer before disappearing completely and I eventually forgot.

And right now, unlike back then, I've become completely celibate and refuse to do anything sexual or romantic in fear of it leading to something else. I guess, well, asexual. Instead, I'm suffering with what I think are somatic sensations. Ever since I've realized how bad my trauma is, I've been having lots of pain in my lower body, specifically in my hips, pelvis, and in and out my butt, including my thighs and wrist. Sometimes, I feel touches all over my body that don't belong to anyone, just something passing. Last time, it was so severe that I think I ended up wetting myself because of the fear.

Is this even possible? Am I just convincing myself that this is real or something? I don't have any memory of being sexually abused PHYSICALLY so I wouldn't know. I don't have anyone to help me anyway, I'm still pretty young so I'm turning to the internet for this.