I’m a bad granddaughter

I feel like a bad granddaughter but I’m so close to being at my wits end. I love my grandparents with my whole heart. They had a big hand in raising me my whole life and I appreciate them so much for doing that. I just hate that it’s thrown back at me now. My grandparents expect that because they did so much for us growing up we owe them to sacrifice our lives to take care of them. My grandma is pretty much total care now and I feel like it’s by her and my grandpas own doing. 3 years ago she got really sick and almost died she came back and did no rehab to get her strength back. My grandpa took over doing everything and she basically just sat in her chair or laid in bed for 23.5 hours out of the day. This not surprisingly has left her unable to walk. She fell last year and broke her leg. It was a bad fall that required surgery. Again she has refused to do any rehab so she’s only gotten worse. Her heart is now very weak and she’s constantly in afib.

We all try to explain to her she needs exercise. Well come up with a plan to get her out or set her up for rehab but she’ll make an excuse not to go. I’ve tried to set up in home rehab she did one visit and didn’t have them come back I tried to set up an in home nurse she refused. I asked if she wanted to come live with me she refused. She wants me and my sister to come over and help. They don’t understand why we can’t make time everyday to come for a few hours. We both have full time jobs and young kids it’s not possible. My mom refuses to help. My grandma was very abusive to her and they have a tumultuous relationship. But that’s an excuse because my mom had no problem allowing her to help raise us.

It is a lot tho. She’s always in the hospital and when she’s in the hospital she refuses to be alone for even a second. So it’s a whole family affair. We literally have to take shifts on who’s going to stay with her at all times. When she was sick three years ago I was graduating college. I had one semester left and my grandfather told me he was disappointed in me for not helping more while my grandma was in the hospital. Like I was literally just trying to graduate. He now tells me and my sister regularly how we need to appreciate him more for taking take of my grandma.

My grandparents also didn’t prepare at all for retirement. So financially I’m paying a few bills in their house every month. Their car just broke down and that needs to be fixed and that’s on me too to get figured out. I’m resentful of my mom because these are her parents and she doesn’t help at all.