To people who have a bad relationship with their father: Do you have similar thoughts? Any advice?

my dad was abusive to me growing up. He's still in my life, but distant. I'm 22 years old now.

I daydream for hours and hoursss about myself being a young child and being cared and protected and loved and being showered with hugs and kisses and snuggles from a dad. It makes me feel so safe and warm.

A few months back, I started imagining more stranger things? Like having a really nice and kind stepdad fall in love with me, but he never acts on it.

And then even more disturbing, I started imagining being sexually abused by an older man who feels guilty and hires a therapist for me who later adopts me as his daughter (it's wierd. idk either).

I posted something similar a few months ago on a different subreddit and everyone reccomended therapy. I don't know if I can do that right now. Are there any books or videos anyone can reccomend?

I'm looking for advice, but I'm also just curious and want to know if anyone else thinks this way? People who have a bad relationship with their fathers, please tell me you also have similar thoughts? I don't want to be alone