I think smuck is taking over my life.

Last month I bought my first jar of smuckers jam. At first, all I did was eat it.
But then, well, I uhhh, got curious.
So I well, let's just say I tried it.
It felt good. It felt, really really good.
Now whenever I see red, I feel it like phantom pain, but it's pleasure, and I can't stop thinking about the creamy strawberry goodness, being immersed in it.
These days I don't even go to work, I just smuck.
I can't even be with my wife anymore, not alone, not without my smuckers fix to "sweeten" the deal.
She doesn't talk to me anymore. But she never turns down a good smucking session, I think it's getting to her too. I don't know how much longer I can go like this. But I don't think I can live without smuck anymore.