Desperate for sleep and dozing off during contact naps

Throwaway account because I’m embarrassed to write this. My baby is 7 weeks and refuses to sleep unless he is being held, and I am desperate for some sleep at night. There are times in the night where I feel overwhelmingly exhausted, and have dozed off a few times holding him on my chest. The thing is, when I do this it does feel pretty safe to me. I find myself wondering if we can sleep like this when I get really tired in the night. Am I horrible for even toying with that idea? When he was first born I was SO anxious about SIDS and safe sleeping and would watch him every time he slept for his first two weeks to make sure he was still breathing. I am of course still worried about all of that, but because I am so desperate for some sleep I find myself becoming more and more relaxed about safety which makes me feel like a horrible mom.

When he naps on my chest I am always on the couch (my husband and I do shifts and whoever is not watching LO gets the bedroom) but I have both of my arms propped up with pillows or a blanket which enables me to have a pretty decent hold on him when he is laying there. I have also put my nursing pillow below his butt to prevent him from scooting down while my two hands are on his lower and middle back. This creates a sort of nest that feels really difficult, if not impossible, for him to fall out of. I am also generally a light sleeper and every time I have dozed off a bit I feel super in tune with his movements and breathing and wake up/am aware of even the sliiightest movements he makes. Because of all this I can’t help but wonder - would it really be all that bad if we slept like this?

I’ve looked into safe cosleeping and am not opposed to it - but I have tried bedsharing with the ss7 and cuddle curl position but LO hated it. We have done “safe” chest to chest sleeping in the bed a couple of times but when I have LO in the middle of the night we don’t have access to our bed. I will also say that we have tried EVERYTHING to get him to sleep in a bassinet or crib and nothing works.

Am I horrible for even entertaining the thought of sleeping with my baby like this? Maybe I need to be told some horror stories to snap out of it??