How do I (27F) know if I should leave my bf (26M) of 3 years to finally follow my dream of traveling the world? I love him, but I don't think I'm "in love" and the end of the lease is near, HELP PLEASE!

When I was 19, I entered a 5 year long complicated, tumultuous, unrequited "relationship" with someone 10 years older than me. He was my best friend, and I loved him, but he refused ever truly to commit. It really fucked with my head and I never got to experience a normal, young person relationship. When I was 24, I left him because I met "L," who this post is about.

L was a friend of a friend and he immediately offered me everything I lacked in my previous situation: commitment, affection, and stability. I always told myself that when I left the first guy, I would finally follow my dreams and travel, so when I met L, I told him I didn't want anything serious because I would be traveling. He agreed. What actually happened is we ended up dating, working together, and leaving our home state to move to a big city and start over after we both had family deaths. Throughout the relationship, I couldn't shake the feeling that this wasn't right for me or that he and I were just not that compatible. It felt like it was circumstance that brought and kept us together and that things were just spiraling deeper than I intended.

We've had a ton of ups and downs and experienced many life-changing moments together that have bonded us. He has truly become a best friend to me, but sometimes it feels like that's all there is. I don't know if I've ever felt a true passion or chemistry between us. I don't feel a spark or like we just "get" each other. I feel like I was more of myself and did more things I loved before I met him. He doesn't push me to be more of who I want to be and I can't see us living the life I dream of. Yet, I've seen so much progress in him over the years and so much willingness to grow that it feels wrong to give up when maybe things could be so much better with time.

I find myself always dreaming of more and existing in this relationship with one foot out the door. He tells me I'll never be satisfied no matter what I have. There are friends I feel I'm more compatible with as far as being adventurous and wanting to explore the world and I wish he had their traits. I want to go everywhere, see everything, and am happiest in the woods. In 3 years, we've been on one trip, camped once, and rarely do anything outdoors. I try to stay off my phone and don't really use social media; he scrolls TikTok as soon as we get into bed and fills every second of empty space with YouTube videos. I'm very sexually free and open and down to experience new things; he carries shame and we've had a ton of issues around intimacy and foreplay. These are just some of the issues that scare me. I really think I am a deep person who wants to experience as much as I can in this world and I want a fulfilling, magical, true love even if that sounds unrealistic. I don't want to settle for the mundane.

After some terrible months where we were hardly even speaking anymore (this was due to him being unemployed for the second time in our relationship, owing me a ton of money, and just being down and out in general), I decided to take a leap and go on a 2 week solo trip to Hawaii in April. I had the best time of my entire life and I hadn't felt so free and like myself in years. I was finally doing what I dreamed of my whole life with nobody holding me back. I made so many friends and felt the light come back to my eyes. I can't express how healing it was for me. I came back and immediately broke up with him and let him know that I wouldn't be resigning the lease (I also told him this back in January, so he was aware, but this was final). We were broken up for 2+ months, but still living together. He was looking for a new roommate and I was planning another trip. Then, I suddenly had a panic attack about the whole situation a few weeks ago and got really scared and sad about leaving. We talked and opened up the possibility of staying together.

So here we are now: I have seen massive changes in him since I initially left. He said it was a wake-up call and he needed to change whether I was there or not. He is fully invested and wants to be together again and I don't know if I should stay or go. I have been honest that I'm still not sure what I want and I'm not committing to being together, but for full transparency, we did sleep together a few times again.

I have a good bit of money saved, can work remotely, and have friends who want to host me overseas. It's been my dream my whole life, but I fear I'm leaving behind someone who truly loves me and is willing to work to be better. I have never been sure he is who I should be with, but how could I be? Is it silly to think I will feel this all-encompassing, passionate, soul changing love? I fear I will have regrets either way I go.

I don't have much longer to make this choice, the lease has to be solved soon. I love him, but I don't feel "in love" and I'm not sure if I ever have. He would be there for me forever if I let him, but I think I'd always be dreaming of more. Any advice from people who have taken a leap like this? Did you regret it? Did you wish you did it sooner?

TLDR; 3 year relationship with a guy who I love but don't feel passionate for. Would I regret leaving a stable, nice life to follow my dreams of traveling the world??