Envy

I make these masc/androgynous characters, typing them, not drawing since I can't draw very well yet. But honestly, I love them so much. Not in a romantic, 'I want to date them', way. But in a, 'I WANT TO BE YOU MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY', way.

I've felt wrong in this body for a while. I get so much gender envy from characters like Loki, and Bucky (marvel), but I think it's not just gender envy anymore. I don't want to JUST be their gender, or whatever. I want to physically BE them. I don't want to be human, I don't want to be a girl (permanently). I want to be a crazy ass, shapeshifting emo God. I'm so confused, but also upset because I know I won't get to be one (in this life time. Maybe next time 🤭)

I know I'm genderfluid, pan, and Ace. That I'm sure of. But I dont want to be a freaking human anymore. I hate it. I feel like I wasn't meant to be a human. I've always imagined and wanted to be a shapeshifter, and something more than human.

I don't know if this is the right space to be posting this, but I think it is. Does anyone else feel like this? How do like, feel better about it or whatever?

(Feedback welcome).