Really sad and trying to choose myself

Gave this man the past several years of LDR.

I finally blocked him on majority of stuff I really struggle to keep that permanent. I really want nothing to do with him, all I ever get is truthfully selfishness and lies. He likes to say he tried, tried what?

Its not about my kids

his parents not approving (He gave it two weeks of them knowing me before he dropped me, did not defend me at all with his actions in this)

visa issues (he never even attempted to complete)

job issues. (he applied for a few sure but not much effort here either.)

So I really don't understand him saying "I tried"

It his decisions and actions towards those things. I blame him because he's 100% to blame. I was willing to make sacrifices, him mostly useless words or tries to bring up things he briefly did in the relationship to make himself sound better. It's been so hard for me to accept that I genuinely loved someone so much who used me for mostly comfort and intimacy. He likes to say he didn't do that but then straight up said he'd sleep with me no strings attached if I was willing after breakup... He came and fucked around with me in October then dating and telling girls he was 6 months out of a relationship by December. Constantly says I don't see his perspective when truthfully that's ALL he says and cares about, he is the one who is inconsiderate and says whatever, and just goes oh well I'm blunt. He left me multiple times, I put up with this because I believe in people too much and trying too much. I didn't realize he was keeping me a secret from friends and family until we were deep into the relationship, he lied about his friends not playing games anymore when I kept asking about meeting them. He was secretly playing gaming tourneys with them while I dealt with my grandpa passing. He downloaded dating apps and was saving pictures of the woman to use for sexual gratification. Right now I'm in a position of hating him and trying to get all this out so I can accept it was real and not my fault he did these things but I hope I reach a point of just indifference. I've been dealing with physical health issues at this point from all the stress and crying, I know its just not worth it and I'm really just focusing on myself and not relationships anymore.