I finally ended it last night :( I was watching a film & was reminded of something upsetting. For the last time, he responded to my sadness by shunning me.

To him—

“I have been struggling with feeling like I am unable to discuss my feelings with you without you rejecting me. I have held you & encouraged you & supported you when required (without even needing to be asked) & I have felt starved of that same sort of care (after asking for it repeatedly). I have expressed to you many times that a hug & a kiss & a little reassurance is profound to me, but your ego interferes & you refuse. You chose to be irritable & unkind, walking away from me & then blamed your behaviour on the fact I had had alcohol [he said he wouldn’t talk to me because I had had two glasses of wine, but his reaction remains the same even when sober, so that claim felt manipulative]. Being able to discuss what trouble us is how we grow closer & understand each other better as partners, but you act so disinterested & annoyed when that moment arises. You told me you felt like you weren’t growing as a person, but a big part of that is definitely a choice you’re making by refusing to consider the little changes you could make to create a happier more loving life. It breaks my heart me because despite plainly stating my needs multiple times, for change to occur you’d need to acknowledge there’s an issue, but you continue to undervalue my perspective & therefore nothing changes. I never seek to make you feel bad. I never viewed discussing how I felt as a way to make you feel attacked. Burying feelings to placate you is making me miserable. I hope in time you are able to understand where I’m coming from & be more available to talking things out & showing some gentleness in your next relationship. I love you XXXX.”