Autism Sibling

Hello there, im not sure if this kind of post is allowed but not sure where else to go. My sister is 26F, and I am 23M. I wanna say first, sorry in advance, i know sometimes these communities are pretty tight about proper terminology and all that but km pretty bad with that so i apologize in advance.

My sister is quite severe, tantrums, screaming, breaking stuff all of that. Once covid happened and her programs shut down I took the lead on her care taking. I did so throughout college while working. I just graduated and am headed to med school! Anyways, fortunately for the past almost two years she has been in a home with aids. Now for the most part everything seems really good there. She has a good amount of structure and activities and things we wouldnt have been able to provide because we have lives and work and all that. For that i consider us incredibly blessed. Its been life changing.

For the begining of her time there i wasnt really thinking much of it, i was so busy with work and school and still recovering from the hell of the covid era. Now, i cant but feel nothing but guilt and sadness. Like i said, she seems well taken care of but part of me is dying inside. I dont know if she misses us. I dont know if shes bored, if shes happy, and its eating me alive. I try to see her often, but not too much that it breaks her routine. I dont know the guilt eats me alive, the pain if not knowing every single thing shes doing, if shes happy.

It will be a long time until i will be in a financial point to give her the best of the best and it aches me how long that will be. I try to talk to my therapist, my parents, no one seems to get it.

Can anyone give me some advice? Its killing me.