Hello! Can you tell me what's up?

Hello, about six days ago I ended a very important relationship for me that had been going on for a year and six months and now I have degrees of anxiety and panic attacks because she leaves the door open for me but she is already meeting someone, I give context about my relationship. I met her on Tinder because of a bet between friends, it turns out that it was my first Mach on the site, we talked and we met and then we asked each other to be a couple, but that's just a descriptive thing, it wasn't until after a year the problems began because she tried to end her life due to an argument with her mother and they had her hospitalized. I was very worried about her, you know, for it was like emotional support. It hurt me that she was suffering. I just wanted her to be there several times before this event. I ran to her house and calmed her down. I told her that I was there her and those types of cases because for me she was too important after this event they wanted to admit her to a psychiatric hospital which she accepted but she was never the same after that. When she tried to take her own life, she left me a farewell letter saying that she would always love me but I didn't know it until she left the psychiatric hospital and well, during her stay it should be noted that I had problems with her family because I was so desperate to hear from her that I called the psychiatric hospital to find out how she was and her mother thought that I had taken control of her and that I was doing things wrong, I tried to explain to her that I acted out of impulse and concern but since then my relationship with my ex mother-in-law has changed. That inside the psychiatric hospital she didn't have electronic devices so I bought an mp3 to help her get through and that it wouldn't be so hard to be serious, my voice is there to give her what we always did, a good morning love or a good night so as not to leave her alone, you know, it was all the times that they let me go and if I had been able to go more times I would have gone. I forgot, the mother got upset with me again because at the psychiatric hospital she chose me as a visitor instead of her sister. She was diagnosed with BPD with fear of abandonment and I honestly didn't care and I hugged her and told her that I wasn't going to abandon her during our relationship before I always affirmed my love for her. We were always looked down upon by our families and people saying that we did something wrong because there were times when we argued but it was mostly because of my insecurities. I am somewhat jealous and insecure but I have always wanted them to tell me everything is fine. After this altercation at the psychiatric hospital I started to think that if I proposed that she marry me I would never feel like I would be abandoning her. I started working on the weekends to buy a ring and the truth is that I wanted her to be my wife not because of my insecurities but because I loved her and I love her even that's why I write this because it hurts me. But problems came, I was frustrated because I was tired since I was studying and working and I made time for her. I guess I changed my attitude towards her. I became more controlling and possessive and because they would think well, I didn't want her to walk away before proposing that she be my wife. And our last argument where I think she decided to end the relationship was because of something that she didn't think was right in the context of the relationship, we were apart for a while or we asked each other for a while and she wanted to go to a nightclub with her cousin and I felt that it wasn't right, I felt that a lot of things were happening at a nightclub and I expressed it to her and she thought I was manipulating her by not letting her be even the only thing she did was promise me that nothing bad would happen. And well, we spent time and we met on public transportation and we talked, and we tried to fix it, it worked for a while, but after 2 weeks she told me that we have to talk and that she didn't feel like it was working. I tried to convince her that it was because it was too soon for what had happened in our discussion and that we could fix this, which was only time, but she refused. She told me, "Will, you won't change. Your insecurities come with you from your upbringing and we are hurting each other." She practically told me that my insecurities killed everything. It hurt me, yes, but it hurt her. I offered to change, you know, I said I would seek professional help because the most important thing for me was her and she was going to give me one more last chance but her family said I wouldn't change and that destroyed me because I thought they would support her with me because I always took care of her but they stabbed me in my back, so she decided to end our relationship. I still thought she would talk to me to fix things but that wasn't the case. This week when we finished she said "I miss you" and I deleted it, I saw it and I answered that I did too and the next morning I saw that she blocked me from everywhere and... if I'm going to say that it hurt me, I called her to find out if it was final and she said yes but when we finished she told me that maybe in the future we can meet. Today, thanks to a friend who saw her stories on Instagram, I found out that she is already meeting someone and it hurt me a lot, I deleted photos, videos, everything I had with her because I felt that she didn't want anything to do with me, I called her to find out if I was meeting someone to get away from me and she didn't want to answer me and she told me, don't call me, I'm going to block you. It hurt me a lot so I talked to her friend to ask and she answered, she has the right to move on with her life and so do you. So here I am looking for help sometimes I feel like things happened out of nowhere and it's just a nightmare I had dreams about the future with her you know. There isn't a day that I don't wish he would write to me to come back, you know. I can't sleep well anymore and I don't have friends to talk to so I turned to these forums like Twitter or Reddit knowing that I need help and give me options on how to get ahead.