I'm scared

It already feels like the spark we had has faded a little these passed 2 days. I really hope that it wasn't my generosity that put you off and that you're just preoccupied. You said you'd do anything when I got there, but I don't want you to think that me helping with food and bills is something I expect you to return a favor for.

So many of my experiences have been people treating these situations like it's all transactional, and that just isn't the case with me. I don't expect anything back. I truly just care and want to help. I guess it's because I always see it as I can earn it back. I can work for it. It's needed more elsewhere. I was also taught not to be selfish growing up and watching my parents constantly talk about how the other one was selfish...so now I guess it's just ingrained in me?

I already lost a group of friends just because I gave one of them therapy items when they were suicidal and they ghosted me over it while one of their other friends finally told me that the ghost friend felt it crossed their boundaries. I'm scared I'll lose more people. I'm scared you're only being kind because I helped you...but I really truly just think you're a cool person and care...