Husband’s gender disappointment

I know there is someone out there in the same boat as me and am hoping for some encouraging words.

My husband and I recently found out we are having our second girl. We waited to find out during the 20 week scan. All of our family knew we would find out during the appointment and they are all dying to know.

We aren’t the big gender reveal type, but with our first daughter we did some confetti poppers with our immediate family during Thanksgiving as a little celebration. This time, after the appointment, my husband asked if we could tell our family via text message to “get it over with”. It was then that he let me know he was feeling immense sadness that he was not going to have a son. We had planned on this being our last baby. He hadn’t ever mentioned to me about a gender preference during either pregnancy. He had seemed pretty easy going in that respect until now.

I am trying to be understanding and allow him the time to grieve the loss of the son he had pictured having. I’ve been pushing off telling friends and family until he is ready. But we are constantly getting asked what the baby is and when we will tell people. Then they’ll say “I think it’s a boy/girl”. He wants to tell everyone just so people quit asking and so he doesn’t have to talk about it.

I’m really struggling with feeling like I cannot bring up anything about the baby/pregnancy with him. I am excited, but I want my partner to be excited also. I want us both to feel joy when people congratulate us on our newest girl. It’s hard for me to know he will only feel pain when we tell everyone.

Will he truly love this baby like he loves our first daughter? How long will this continue? Am I on my own for this pregnancy?

-Hormonal mom of (almost) 2