Am I being too sensitive with how my friends treat me? I’ve posted this in a few other communities

So, I’ve known these people for almost a year now. They’re like my family. For the sake of this post, I’ll call them A and S. A has known S a lot longer than I have. And S is sweet but he is a bit blunt. And while bluntness can be needed sometimes, I feel like it’s a bit harsh. I struggle with mental health issues, I am diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, anxiety and schizoaffective disorder. Which I am all on meds for. I do struggle with self harm and have attempted to take my own life before.

A few days ago, I had a back breakdown and ended up talking with A. And A told S about my breakdown which I ended up getting messages from S about how I was wasting everyone’s time, that I’m annoying to him, and that I’m just not even trying. Basically being told I am the problem. He has said to me before I self sabotage. He’s sent me audios that claim to ‘fix’ mental health issues. And while I can see the good intentions, it bothers me how I am constantly being called a dumb bitch by him. Being told that I’m a waste of everyone’s time. That everyone is gonna leave me eventually. That I’m dragging A down with me. And I’m just stupid. The entire time I’m about to attempt to OD. Because I’m fucking tried of feeling this way. Of being the way I am. If just fucking bothers me so much and reminds me of my ex who used my bpd against me. It’s like S just acts like I can shut it off. That I can stop feeling, stop being me. That I’m such a pain because I when break downs and because I’m hurting so much. Like he even got on my butt for having a certain character with bpd as my pfp because I related to that character due to trauma and so much. He said it was like I wasn’t even trying to get better. We have shared accounts. I logged out A on my account, it’s my original google account so I have full access. And I logged out of a group account. We make YouTube videos together. And I could easily block them, some of my older friends that know my history say I should block them. That I deserve better. It’s like I’ve been treated this way by almost everyone, for a long time, and I just, I’m fed up. And I’m angry. I just, I need people who understand.