Its over for me

I'm a gay trans man and I'm 30 years old. Ive only had one relationship and that person didn't even see me as a man. I'm not manly enough for gay men and no one sees me as a man because I don't pass and I'm not conventionally attractive. I'm shy and that usually gets percieved as creepy or stuck up. I'm never going to find someone who loves me as I am.